In relationship

The Latin root religio means "to bind fast." There are lots of ways that our modern religions attempt to bind us. Ritual, collective history, mythology, and social dictates all serve to solidify our attachment. My question here is, To what? If the purpose of an organization is to help us conjoin with God on a profound inner level, then I'm all for it. If instead its objective is to tie us more firmly to identification with a particular group, tribe, or set of opinions, excluding all others, then I'm not sure I want to be bound.

--from Us by Liza Oz

I gave up religion and the Christian God three years ago. When I had been in the religion, Methodist, for twenty years, I was bound up in it as a member of a community. I loved that community, the common bond of praising and serving with friends and family. Then I moved away and lost that community and, though I tried to replace it in Manhattan, couldn't find it. I realized that my faith had been entirely wound in my own church--that I didn't actually have faith without it. It was a slow realization, and one that I'm not entirely comfortable with still.

I don't believe in a God but in some natural spirit--something tied to nature that isn't a god but an energy. But not mystic or transcendental. I don't know how I would describe it, and I honestly haven't gotten back to trying to discover what it is I feel. All I know is that I'm closer to spirituality in nature--the mountains, the ocean--than I am around other people or a city or near a church.

I don't want to be bound. But I admit I need something on an inner level. Something inside to love.