Recluse

I just realized how shocked you must be about what I haven't done in Lawrence in three years.

You've never eaten Downtown on a Saturday night? You've never gone shopping Downtown? You've been at KU for three years and NOW you want to visit the Visitor's Center?

Well, let me address my reclusiveness.

I've never eaten Downtown on a Saturday night because 1) I spend nearly every other weekend in Lenexa with Jedsen; 2) Jedsen and I don't drink and don't go out at night; 3) Jedsen and I are poor; 4) Jedsen and I are not big fans of crowded places, and Mass Street makes us nervous when it's busy.

How have I never gone shopping Downtown? Well, let me clarify. I strolled Mass Street back in March 2005 when Jedsen and I came up here for a night and a concert. Then, I was a tourist. Now that I live here, I still feel like a tourist on Mass Street for some reason. Yes, I've even worked on Mass for the entire time I've been here, but I come and I go. I've gone to specific stores on Mass for specific reasons, but I've never treated Mass St has a mall and just browsed. Part of that, again, goes back to Jedsen and his dislike for the street. I don't really argue. But that doesn't mean I want to shop it--I mean shop it--at least once.

As for the Visitor's Center, though it's on Iowa and very accessible, I didn't know I should go to it until about a year ago when someone said it was amazing. But, then, I've been pretty busy being reclusive and writing my thesis this past year.

Things just haven't gotten done.

But Jedsen and I took a ride last weekend. A ride to nowhere and anywhere, south and east of Lawrence, out in the hills, the green. We drove and tried to get lost in the county, but my sense of direction is too good. As we approached Highway 59, we noticed a park: Wells Overlook Park. So we went. What do you know? There's an overlook, a structure three stories high with views at every level. We saw Lawrence and the surrounding miles to the south, east, west. Perspective. That's where I live. Look at all that West Lawrence that we don't even know. It's new, and it reminds us of Johnson County. We only know Iowa, 23rd St East of Iowa, 9th Street East of Iowa, and portions of Mass St. I know my L of home to school and home to work. I don't know Lawrence.

So I'll try to explore some more in these last months, and I'll make it a goal to know my new town and to let it know me.

Word

I should probably explain.

My time is running out here in Lawrence. I have successfully defended my thesis, a collection of essays titled Parts & Accessories, and I'll be "hooded" as the holder of an MFA degree on May 15. Two days later, I will be reading along with five of my fellow MFA graduates at KU...in our last reading in Lawrence (well, for some of us that may be more true than for others). Even if it isn't an official "last reading" for all six of us, it is officially SENIOR NIGHT.

So, if you're in the vicinity of Teller's Restaurant in Downtown Lawrence at 7pm on Monday, May 17, come hear me read an essay or part of one. Drink a drink. Be jolly. That's what I'll be doing with my friends, these wonderful people who have made the last two years especially absolutely awesome.

Where will I be going? Stay tuned. I have an inkling.

How's that Bucket List coming, you ask? I have officially crossed one item off of my Lawrence Bucket List:

4. Eat at Runza.

Jedsen and I ate at Runza yesterday, and it reminded him of a drive in in Carl Junction, where he grew up. The onion rings had flavor beyond the onion and grease, which was a welcome surprise. And even though I got a value meal, because I ordered at 2:00 on the dot, and 1/2 price drinks ran from 2-4, I got a half-price Mountain Dew. And because I drank a Mountain Dew for the first time in, perhaps, a year, I had a headache and was fidgety when we watched Rashoman a few hours later. But, hey, the hamburger was juicy, freshly made. And the fries were hot. And the guy at the counter was uber-friendly.

14 to go in a month-and-a-half. Who's gonna help me out?

hidden lawrence

I've been on walks in Lawrence before. Not as many as I should have been on in the last two years I've lived here, though. I usually walk north, to the river or around there. This morning I took off headed west on 9th street, up the big hill to where it meets Iowa, with no particular destination or direction in mind. Just after starting the climb, I crossed Avalon, a street that I have never looked south down. I decided to try it.

As I walked down the tree-lined, foliage-flanked street, I looked at the houses and the landscaping. I looked at the trees. I saw a neon orange bug or spider cross in front of me. I should have stopped to observe it, but I was caught up in the hidden part of Lawrence. Or, it's not really hidden, but it's not a street I would ever need to drive down, and it made me realize how little I look around when I am driving (which, I guess, is actually a good thing). I saw one house in particular that looked practically new and was for sale. It was set back and down, surrounded by trees, with three levels and loads of windows. It was empty and beautiful. I didn't stop to stare like I wanted, and I didn't go up close to it to look for fear of looking suspicious (I was wearing a baseball cap after all), but I looked left as I walked straight and nearly fell several times, not looking down at the drops in sidewalk. I could live there. Jedsen and I have been talking lately about houses and locations (not for "us" but just wants). I don't want to live in the country, in a rural area, and I thought I wanted to live in a city. More and more, though, through my reading and reflection this summer, I have decided that I don't want to live in a suburb or a neighborhood with house next to house, with touching, fenced backyards and no windows on the sides for the sake of privacy. My house needs to be set off. Nature will be my neighbor. If/when I have kids, I want them growing up not on pavement but wildflowers and vines. I want them to appreciate and care for nature and know a world beyond buzzing streets and malls. That is my wish.

So while the house I came upon is still very much in the center of Lawrence, it has some of those elements. And, actually, as I discovered today, many parts of the neighborhoods directly to the west and south of my apartment are set right in the thick of wood-like nature. Oh, all the mature trees and flowers and little creeks and green, all green. My apartment is at the base of a hill, and while I new there were houses lining 9th street on the side of it, I thought they all ended shortly in dead ends like my side of Avalon does. I found out this morning that that is not the case at all. I actually thought there was a golf course up there, (and there may be, but I didn't find it) but there are houses, interesting houses probably built in the 1970s but again all surrounded in vegetation.

You learn your home on feet. I've known it, I've experienced it before, but it came to life for me in earnest this morning. I've been ignorant and deprived by not exploring my home and knowing it. Scott Russell Sanders tells of the importance of knowing your town, your state, your neighborhood in A Conservationist Manifesto and in places in Secrets of the Universe.

I know you a little better today, Lawrence, and I appreciate you better for it. I appreciate the conservation in the middle of the city. The new west Lawrence doesn't have that. West Lawrence may have beautiful, new homes, but they're close together and tree-less, lifeless. I'm satisfied with the part of Lawrence I've made my home, the hilly, covered part with a more retro flair.