In days

Happy due date, Baby M!

I'm a day--no more than four--away from baby. I'm tuning in for signs of labor. I'm whispering don't you want to come out to my belly amid the bumps and rolls.

The last few weeks have gotten harder. Carpal tunnel in my right hand, with tingly, numb fingertips. Swollen ankles and calves to where only tall boots fit, and now even they are tight to zip. Heartburn in the evening that wakes me up from the sudden rise in acid. Higher blood pressure at one appointment that led to a 24-hour urine collection testing for pre-eclampsia (none). A belly so big and hard that last night Phillip had to help me take off my shoes and pants. No dilation, no change, to the point where Dr. "aggravated" my cervix Wednesday to try and spark something. Exhaustion but sleep that I wake from every 2 or so hours--practicing sleep deprivation, yes. Am I complaining? A bit.

But because of the check for pre-eclampsia and the lack of progress, we had a 39-week sonogram that we weren't expecting to make sure everything was okay. And it was. And I got to see my baby's chubby cheeks--and hair!--in the womb, making me all the more anxious to kiss them in person. Phillip keeps looking at the picture and saying I can't believe how cute our baby is! And it's true, and come on we want to meet you, sweet Baby M.

39 week sonogram

I am now officially on maternity leave after finishing and preparing everything I could on Friday. Though I'm using these first two days to rest, I don't want to waste too many days of leave without the baby. December 7 will come too soon, I know.

Last minutes at work before maternity leave.

My mind right now is calm with the knowledge that all I can do is wait, but a piece of me is anxious in the limbo and startled at the fact that I will undergo an entirely new and life-altering experience within the week. I'm ready for this. I'm ready for you, little one.