JibJab 2008 Year in Review

Chuck

One of my favorite shows. Chuck.

Coherence

So my cold seemed to be getting better, and now it's not. And now it's seeping down into my lungs and through my veins to make me sluggish--brain and body. You know the feeling of the body draining down from the temples to the toes, and then all energy and function seem to float away with the snow drifts. You know how it seems to happen just when you need that energy the most. Like when you're meeting with students and they expect coherent answers to their questions. Like when you have to finish up a project worth nearly half your grade and you can't fathom reading it a tenth time. Like when you have to give your first out-of-town reading on Friday in front of your boyfriend's peers and professors in the Plaza.

McGregor Mountain Lodge. Estes Park. That's where I want to go in January to my little getaway with Jedsen before it all gets underway again. Is it crazy to go into the Rocky Mountains in January? Is that why the hotels are half-price now? Would I mind Colorado snow and cold? Probably a little, but probably not a lot. Vacation. Mountains. Jedsen.

Treat

So I'm planning what Christmas treats I'll be making this year. I'm going all out. I guess.
German Chocolate Fudge. Peanut Butter Fudge. English Toffee. Peanut Butter Brownies. Jolly Chocolate Cookies.
I'm making them for my students, my coworkers, and my family. In different combinations. How does that sound? Sounds good to me, as long as it doesn't break my budget.
I have a crappy oven and not too many baking pans, but I'll make due. I hope I'll make due in the snow tomorrow. It's going to be windy and cold, and I'm going to have to walk to campus. I need boots. Not clunky snowboots but cool, smooth boots to keep my always-cold feet a little less cold. And I have a cold, of course, so my feet need to stay warm.

Honey, you are a rock.

Oh, Coldplay. Again, I was at this concert. Much, much farther away...on the other side of the arena...but I was there. It was magical.

In my Place. Yes, I was there.

Projecting

It's a day of final projecting. Yes, it's a verb now. I have a teaching philosophy pretty much down, and now I just need to work down from there. Relevance--that's key in my philosophy of teaching composition to college students.

It's Saturday morning, and with my limited cable, there's nothing on but CNN. Not even a good cartoon. And it's almost all gray outside. Maybe I'll watch College Gameday on ESPN.

As you can see, I'm filling a few minutes before I get to work.

Aamar

I got to hold a two-day old baby today. Aamar Muhsin Abdi.

Now, I don't want to insinuate that my biological clock is ticking. I love babies. Beth's babies, anyway. I couldn't handle my own. That's another decade or so away. Babies are just amazing.

BATHTUB Collective

Check out our Writers Collective blog. We are the Bathtub Collective. Writers in Lawrence and around.

http://bathtubcollective.blogspot.com/

We're the next big thing.

Killing

I think I'm killing my eyes from all of this computer-staring. But my glasses don't help with computer screens. I've been in my office since 9:15 this morning. That's a nine-hour day already. But it feels like I've done nothing. Nothing. I still have half of a final project to do. A confusing final project that I want to do. But it's confusing.

Jedsen's birthday is Thursday. I almost said tomorrow. It'll be a brief celebration because we're both working on projects. I'm sure he never reads this, so I'll tell you what I'm getting him. His favorite store is Whole Foods Market. I'm getting him a block of Parrano Gouda. He loves cheese. That, and maybe some amazing fresh chocolate cookies. Perhaps a cool reusable bag. Maybe a gift card. Little things that he can use. Eat. I hope it works out because I have to buy it all in Overland Park before showing up to his place in Lenexa. So it'll take some trickery. I'll be a hobbit for the day.

The Lord of the Rings is on my mind. Those are my favorite movies. The only movies that I can just watch again and again. I still need to read the books...

Now, poetry. Reading my classmates' poetry. Poetry class tonight. It's 5:30 and dark. I need some Vitamin D. I wish my office had a couch. Or a big floor pillow. Tile instead. Hmph.

Snow

I wasn't expecting the first snow of the season this weekend. I was driving home from Hutchinson, and there were big flakes. Not sticking. But big nonetheless. This morning, though, some sticking. Wow, snow. You mean I have to stop wearing flats without socks now? Darn. Shoes are my burden.

The picture is of Dickinson, my cat that lives with my parents. The poor guy broke his leg and has to walk around with a splint. He's pretty much a three-legged kitty right now. It's hard for this strapping young man to be decommissioned like this.

I've eaten far too much chocolate ice cream this weekend. I wish I had a complete turkey dinner every day. I didn't get any leftovers this year. Darn.

Only a few more weeks to go in the semester. Let me tell you it's been a crazy, fantastic semester. I've learned so much about myself, about people, about teaching, about caring, about English, about writing, about everything. Thank you to all of my students for making this semester truly special. We've had our rough times (I know I have, at least), but I just think that every one of my students has the world at their fingertips. And I hope that they keep in touch because it's going to be hard to just let them go off into the world when our time ends.

I haven't left my apartment today. I've been working on my final project for my Study of Teaching and Writing course. There's a lot to it, so it's taking a long time to work through. But it's my only final project this year (other than my poetry portfolio and grading) unlike last year's madness. Last year was a dark, different year. But since August, minus a few days, life has been bright.

Upcoming poetry reading: Friday, December 12, 7:00 pm, Kansas City Public Library--Plaza

My first out-of-town reading!

Go-'bama!

5 days away...and I'm so nervous and excited for Nov. 4th. I'm totally going to Barack the Vote on Tuesday in the madness! I know I'm young, and this is only my second presidential election, but I've gotten so invested in this election, in Barack Obama. I trust him. That's not to say I wouldn't trust John McCain, but I don't share his values. And I don't believe in Sarah Palin.

That's my story. That's my belief. That's my hope.

What am I doing?

Let's see. I'm teaching. And it's a full time job--all the planning, grading, answering, thinking, teaching, and reading. It's exhausting. But I'm enjoying it. Yes, I really like it. Not every part of it--but overall.

I'm learning. To teach. And to write poetry. Those are my classes.

I'm waiting. For things to be done with. In a year and a half, I will be done with school.

I'm working. Only six hours a week at The Dusty Bookshelf, but that's all I can handle.

I'm writing. More poetry consistently than ever before. At least a poem a week. It's a fantastic feeling.

I'm listening. To students. And music when I can. Mostly I listen to the TV when I'm at home.

I'm watching. Too much CNN. There's only so many times one person can handle hearing "my friends."

I'm hoping. In hope. For Barack Obama to be elected our next president in less than a month.

I'm drinking. Too much caffeine these days. Not enough water.

I'm limping. Repeat injury--only to the opposite foot. It's strange and painful.

I'm hungry. Because it's hard for me to eat breakfast these days.

I'm anxious. For next summer so I can move to a happy apartment.

Late Mid-Summer Dreaming?

I've, not surprisingly, had little to talk about this summer that strays from my usual complaints and frustrations.

Working full time. Yes, I've been working all the time all summer as usual. Only it's quite different here in Lawrence. As I've said before, my office is a closet. The lack of sunlight and closed-in space for hours at a time has drove me slightly crazy. Luckily, I've had some opportunities lately to work in the store, which gives me a little boost. Don't get me wrong, while the environment adds a lot of stress, I still love the DB and the people there. They're fantastic. But a super exciting thing we worked on this summer is The Dusty Bookshelf website. We're all giddy about it, so please check it out: www.thedustybookshelf.com. And send us a message, too! We want to hear what you think about the website and the store. Or you can just tell us hello. Or you can tell us to look for a book for you. Really, just talk to us. We like it.

So that's my life. I always hope that in the summer I can relax and be super creative and write and read like I want. But the truth is, I get so tense and crazy from being inside in a box all day that coming home doesn't make me relax much more. Because my apartment is also a box with no light. It's the same ongoing disappointment. To want to come home and be happy and rest. But when I want to spend the evening in my home, to feel better, I really should be going elsewhere. Like the library. Or a park. But then that leaves Snickers alone for most of my waking hours. And that doesn't seem fair to her. But, heavens, things need to be a-changin' this next month before school resumes.

And when school resumes, I will be teaching. Yes, teaching Expository Writing I at KU. Teaching and taking two classes. It's wildly exciting and surreal.

Next week, my brother and I are taking a mini vacation in Chicago. He's never been anywhere (other than on our one family trip when he was 8 to Omaha) outside of Kansas. And he's never flown. So, we're going to be in Chicago from July 23-26...packing in sightseeing and museums and shopping. It'll be fun, I'm sure. Ah, Chicago.

Jedsen is moving to Lenexa in two days, and I'm really excited to spend more time in KC!

Minnows

All night I stare into the mirror
at the deep wrinkle beginning to show
on my forehead above the right eye.

I move the muscles of my face
to see where it comes from
and it comes from everywhere,
pain, joy, the look of being puzzled
and raising one eyebrow,
from the way I say YES too much,
I say YES when I mean NO
and the wrinkle grows.

It is cutting a line across my head
like a crack in a creek bottom--
starting small, shiver between two stones,
it ends up splitting the bed.

I wade carefully, feeling with feet--
smooth-skinned pebbles,
the minnow's effortless glide.

--Naomi Shihab Nye

Stop this Train

I just can't get a break. It's school school school projects papers. Then work work work. Where's my summer? I think summer's locked in some high school dream box along with my healthy body and sound mind. How do weeks go so fast? Where does life go?

Brooksie and Kevin are getting married on Thursday. It's so strange, yet I'm so happy for them. They've been together a long time, and they're going to be good together as Mr. and Mrs. McCarty. I'm looking forward to the wedding, too. To seeing everyone. People I haven't seen in years or even since high school. My, how things have changed. It's that time thing again. Only, on my end, the last five years since high school have seen me grow as a person. I'm not the shy, innocent, quiet girl I was back then. I mean, I'm still shy, I'm still innocent in a "cute" way, and I'm still quiet...at times. To a lesser degree. I'm more me now. I'm more free.

Snickers is talking. I don't know what she wants. Probably food. It's always food.

The semester turned out well. I don't understand it. I guess I don't understand myself in that respect. I also guess I shouldn't argue about it. Thank you...stress?

By the way

I'm working on my twenty-some page research paper for World War I lit right now. It's due tomorrow. It's been painful, but actually less painful than previous semesters, specifically last semester. The anxiety level never reached the height of the fall, thank goodness. That was torture. Now I'm merely tortured by stress and the fact that even after this one is turned in and behind me I still have another smaller paper to write and a story to revise. Does it ever end? Yes, Friday at 5 pm.

And then it's to Hutchinson for my brother's high school graduation! It will truly be surreal.

Just for the record...

I'm not an American Idol fan. But I must say that I got dragged into it this year. Yes, I followed it, admittedly, but I will still not claim to be a fan of the show. But I have to tell you all out there just what I think because, well, it doesn't matter, but I need to tell someone.

David Cook should win. He is the only one of any of them that would put on a good show, that would make a good album. He's not the typical "I'm pretty and I can sing" American Idol contestant. He actually has substance, a personality, a style.

David Archuletta is just a kid who has a good, common, does-nothing-for-the-senses voice. He needs to go back to high school.

Syeesha (is that how you spell it?) is talented, sure, but she's not going to sell a ton of records. What kind of an album would she make, anyway? She needs to go to Broadway.

Okay, I'm done. That's enough American Idol to last me the rest of my life.

Win

I'm sure you've heard all about the Jayhawks this week. Damn, what at time to be at KU!

Now, I've never experienced the KU basketball frenzy in person. I grew up a KU fan. I even secretly cheered for KU while I was at K-State (shhh). But nothing prepared me for the night KU beat UNC in the Final Four. Yes, Roy Williams was the legendary coach at KU for fifteen years before he up and left for North Carolina. Yes, KU fans have held a grudge against him ever since. And for KU, the current team under Bill Self, to beat Roy's team? Well, that was some payback, some sweet redemption for these Jayhawk fans. Personally, I have no grudge against Roy Williams. I remember being utterly disappointed when he left KU, but, come on, it's his life and his career, and it wasn't like KU basketball would go under under some other coach (nor did it.)

I watched the KU - UNC game from home, reading Dr. Atkins's new book during timeouts and halftime. It was quite exciting, of course, when we won. But then I heard screaming outside. Within the first minute after the game was over, people all around the apartment complex and neighborhood were outside screaming. I had no idea what was going on, but then there was a constant roar coming from Mass St. I watched from my patio as people streamed from their homes and flocked toward Mass. Constant cars honking. Constant whoops. After about twenty minutes of me on the phone with Jedsen, trying to relate the craziness, I decided to don my sneakers and partake. I jogged down to 9th street, a block north, and joined the processional. People were hanging out of their cars, headed toward Mass. Flags were flying. High fives between strangers. Rock Chalk chants broke out. Everyone was a friend. Everyone was celebrating. It was overwhelming and inutterably exciting. It kept up--all the screaming, honking, chanting, high fives, all the way to the mass at 9th and Mass. Really, you had to be there. I heard later that there were 20,000 people down Mass St. I was there for maybe 15 minutes, just taking it all in. I thought that may be the only time I'd ever get to take part in such a celebration.

Until Monday.

No Djok

Sunday afternoon. Easter. Pacific Life Open Men's Final. Productivity.

This is just about the most un-Easter Easter I've ever had. But let me tell you it's been nice. We're approaching the end of spring break, that week of the spring semester when I tend to work more hours and stress about what has to be done in the next month and a half of the semester. It's been no different this time. I got to spend a lot of time with Jedsen, which is wonderful--we hardly ever have luxurious time to together. I worked only about 24 hours this break, which is nearly half of the usual forty hour haul when I don't have the other obligation of class to pull me away. Yet, still, I'm exhausted. I haven't had any time to just be. Be be be. My chest, constantly since I can't remember when, is tight. I'm nervous. Always. I can't catch up with myself, with life, with my responsibilities.

I had a lovely day yesterday with family in Manhattan. I love my family, my extended family. My aunts. My cousins. My brother. My grandma. The only troublemaker is my mom. She didn't make trouble yesterday, just frustration and quizical expressions of absurdity on the part of everyone else. Anyway, yesterday was great--just exhausting on top of my previous exhaustion and lack of sleep. I slept in till 10:30 today. Holy cow, 10:30! I just let myself rest until I was done. That never happens. I'm still tired, still nervous, but I've managed to finish my novel for Wednesday's class early and come up with a complex, interesting paper topic for my World War I literature class. I can't tell you how good that feels: to actually finish something early, to get started on something early. Still to do? Plenty, but today's accomplishments certainly help.

Another recent obsession: online apartment searching. When I moved here last summer, I just assumed I'd stay in this same apartment for my entire duration in Lawrence. I mean, why would I move if I didn't have to? But, slowly, I have become dissatisfied with these 540 square feet. I am a lover of natural light. Of windows. Of nighttime glows. Of open windows. Here, I have old windows, patio-shaded windows, air-seeping windows, that give me zero direct sunlight. Zero. It can be the middle of the sunniest afternoon, and if I want to read in the living room, I have to turn on a light. Also, my living/dining room is all in one, is all too small, is also my office, is oh so cramped. I need more space. Also, I'm paying $530 a month (including cable/internet) plus $25 a month to have a cat. Plus, I have to pay a monthly water/trash bill of $30 and gas and electric. That's, ha, a lot. For little. Now, I have to do the math, but if I can find a bigger place with fewer utilities and fees to pay, I'm there. Granted, the best part about this place is that it's two blocks from campus: no campus parking troubles because I always walk. But, I think I'd rather have to park on campus than not be happy in my home for the next two years. I'll keep you updated. I don't want to move--I was really looking forward to not having to stress about moving for the first time in three years this summer. But I think it would be worth it if I can find a happier, sunnier place. :)

I wish it were warm. Then I could sit on my patio. At my little table and chairs.

Mardy Fish. Who knew? He's been around as long as Roddick and Blake, but he just hasn't had those breakthrough moments (other than at the 2004 Olympics). Here it is. Hopefully he can pull off the upset again and win the Pacific Life Open. Man would that be great. I like Djokovic and all, but he can win all of the Grand Slams later on if he wants.

How many mothers hate their daughter's boyfriend? How many of those same mothers instantly fall in love the boyfriend of their 14-year old neice that they've never met?

There's a Snickers in my lap.

My brother's going to prom! He's going to prom!

Look for me in Tuesday's Lawrence.com. I was interviewed about books while working at the Dusty Bookshelf. I was nervous. People assume that if you work at a bookstore you know every author and have read every book. Um, no.

I think I'm done here. I think it's on to Annie Dillard. Ah, Annie Dillard, you're amazing.

Writers at the Oscars

Yay for Cormac McCarthy! How fantastic is he?! Where's his Oscar, huh?

And YAY for Diablo Cody! Still haven't seen Juno, but I will. She's a woman. And she won for best original screenplay at the Academy Awards. Hoorah!

Golden Age

Blogging has been low on my list lately, guys. The anxiety is back in bits. The homework is back in huge helpings. The sickness finally caught up with me. The weekends have been spent in other Kansas plots.

I'm getting reading glasses. I first got glasses in third grade. My mom took me to the mall to pick out glasses after church one Sunday, and I was very excited. I had on my favorite little jumper/skort flowery outfit. Looking through the frames, I found some burgandy round ones. They matched my outfit perfectly. When they asked me what color of lenses I wanted, I thought the rose-tinted ones would complete the look.

Yes, I picked out glasses to match my outfit.

I wore them for less than a year. Basically, I needed them for reading and such, but I think I was supposed to wear them all the time (best to tell a kid that). I have excellent distance vision to this day. But, the last few years of sitting in front of the computer screen so much has caused eye strain, and it's flowed over to slight blurriness or headaches when I'm reading.

Glasses don't look good on my face. I'm glad I'm getting glasses to help, but it's going to be strange.

In the past month, I have become more invested in politics than ever before. I watch CNN every Tuesday night and watch the primary results come in. CNN predictions are exciting. My political opinions (the few I have) are usually kept to myself. I feel embarrassed promoting a candidate if I don't know every detail of every issue in case someone asks me. But I know some, and I feel good about my choice for Barack Obama. I really do. I trust him. Believe him. Admire him. And I think he needs to be president.

At first, I must admit, I was all for Hillary Clinton. Mainly because she's democrat and a woman. Wow! a woman running for president! Little did I know that another candidate would come along to make me think again about my hasty instinctual favoritism.

I even donated to his campaign. Five dollars, though. That's all I can afford. I care about what happens to this country next November. I don't want the same Republican crap going on in the White House for another four years. And that's what I understand McCain is planning on doing.

Basically, no matter who you vote for, vote! A lot of Americans don't think their vote matters. My boyfriend is one of them. I wish he'd just vote for the hell of it then, but he won't. Please please please if you care about what happens in the next few years, care what's happening now.

Right now it's supposed to be warming up to 47 degrees...but it sure doesn't look like it. It snowed again last night. Snow snow snow. Always snow this season. More than I ever remember. Spring, please.

Holy cow. I'm almost 23.

Across Kansas by William Stafford

My family slept those level miles
but like a bell rung deep till dawn
I drove down an aisle of sound,
nothing real but in the bell,
past the town where I was born.

Once you cross a land like that
you own your face more: what the light
struck told a self; every rock
denied all the rest of the world.
We stopped at Sharon Springs and ate--

My state still dark, my dream too long to tell.

Coastal

Speaking of living in another country...

Today is "House Hunters International" day on HGTV. I love HGTV. I dream of owning a house so I can do what I want with it, explore my interior decorating urges that I didn't follow through into a degree. The most important things for people looking for homes on islands are the view and a pool. Oh, to have those requirements! I want a view. A pool would be cool, but there's the ocean down the road. I've never been to the ocean. People go on vacation to the Caribbean and decide they want to move there. Just decide. Money is only a marginal issue. Most can spend $500,000 to over a million. Give me a bungalow with a view. Well, maybe a little larger than a bungalow, but a palace isn't necessary. But, I haven't ever dreamed of moving to an island--probably because I've never been to an island and experienced it. As long as it wasn't 100 degrees every day...

Outdoor living. I have been wanting a little bistro set for my patio forever. Can't find one to fit my budget. I'd sit out there and write and read. I'd feel less constrained. The sunken camp chair covered in dirt and webs last summer didn't satisfy me. The railing is high, so I couldn't see a thing--even though the only things to see are other (colorful) apartments and the parking lot. A room with a view. Oh, now I'm sad. And dreaming.

Snickers has found her niche, however. Miranda and Ray brought me their old queen size mattress yesterday, and it's been standing on its side against the window wall since because I'm waiting on the frame and box springs to be delivered (were supposed to come before 4--they have 8 minutes!). She jumped up and has been laying on the top side of it all day. There, she has a window view, she's high, and she's comfortable. I hate to break her heart when the bed can be put together! Oh, oh, oh.

Why write

In the first meeting of my class Writers Workshop on Thursday, Michael Johnson asked us why we write. Now, I answered this question last year in my advanced fiction writing class with the general answer "to find out who I am." Now, that is certainly true. I search for myself in my poems, in my stories, trying to find out what means what to me, but there's more. My answer on Thursday possibly stemmed from the regularity that it has occurred in the recent months, but, for me, is probably the defining reason why I write: because I can't speak it. I have never been good with speaking my mind or carrying on a conversation or defining my opinion on the spot or carrying my weight in an argument. When I am pressured to speak, in a time where I am required to speak, my mind cannot concentrate on the task. Often, in an argument with Jedsen, in my stammering necessity to find the right words to say, a song comes into my head, repeatedly repeating to distract me from my own words. Or I search, almost literally circling my mind with my eyes, for that right statement. But, if I write it down, if I can see that what I write will be remembered and can be built upon, I can usually determine a solution or position.

How do I feel about my dad? He was always working, always distant from me and my brother. We never had any problems with one another. He never yelled at me, and I don't think I ever screamed at him. He fed me. He let me hold his index finger while we walked when I was little. I love my dad, but I don't know him beyond his love for sci fi television and Anchor Inn. I think my feelings for my dad came through in the poem I wrote about his hands. I couldn't define it in my mind, but once I had a spot to wander from, that's when I knew. All he does is work, nights now, and what is his life beyond that? He works while my mom stays home with no one to care for now. He works for little, gets little, gives little.

My parents are not passionate people. My mom has no drive except to be a mother, and my dad's only need when he is home is to watch tv. I always went beyond that. I wanted to go to college, graduate, have a career, travel, be happily in love, live in a stimulating city. Not that I wanted to be better than them--they're good people--but I wanted different. So, here I am, slightly traveled, still being schooled (beyond where I hoped), loved and loving a man, at the age of 22. But where's my passion? There are the goals, the wishes, but what do I get passionate about? While my writing habit is lacking--slap me--in the writing is my passion. In the finding the word, the phrase, or as Michael Johnson (first it was Natalie) perfectly puts it, the SURPRISE. It's in the surprise of finding that I have something to say and can say it well, in a new way. Okay, so there's that, but what are my other passions? Work, the books. I get obsessed over books and their worth, the research, and the surprise of discovering this little 68 page booklet on religion is worth $80. Yes, the surprise again. Passion in the travel, in the new. If only I could go back to Europe and take time in the Alps, in Paris, in Lucerne, in London, on the Seine, on the Metro, on that Swiss lake. Oh, the passion for the there. The there I cannot go to. The there I cannot have.

I always wanted to study abroad. Australia, so that I could see my grandma's family. France, so that I could really learn French. England, so that I could start myself over. Since my oportunities for study abroad are over, my goal is to live in another country for at least a year at some point in my life. I'm not afraid.

Comfortable

Well, the break is almost over. But did it ever begin?

I've been working all the time at the bookstore--8 hours in a closet without any natural sunlight. I've gotten a lot done there. Almost too much, actually, because I'm close to running out of books to go through. That will all change once I'm back to 16 hours a week again next week.

I spent several days in Hutchinson for Christmas. I had to take Snickers down there so they could babysit her while I would be in Manhattan, and, let me tell you, that was the worst drive ever! First of all, it had just snowed a lot, so I went out to my car to load it here in Lawrence, and the plow had left a nice 2-foot ridge behind my car. I got stuck for about thirty seconds. Then I had to coax Snickers into the pet carrier for the first time ever. She hated it. She screamed and bit at the bars the whole time. She lost two claws in the first five minutes. So, I'm driving--slowly--but it's bad around Topeka, and my windshield wipers weren't working very well, so I could hardly see and started sliding. Scary, but I got it corrected. Then just outside of Topeka, I nudged a little ridge in the center of the lane, which sent me sliding into the other lane then back towards the ditch. Thank goodness, I got that one corrected, too. All this time, I have about 400 pounds of books in my backseat and trunk to drop off in Manhattan at the DB. I got there and had to unload it all by myself. Then it was back on the road to Hutch. Snickers was still going crazy. Finally made it to Hutch unscathed. Ugh.

I met my friend, Beth, at the Hasting's in Hutch and got to see her newborn son, Isaac, for the first time. Oh my goodness. It was good to see her, and it was the first time in recent history that I've gotten to hold a sweet, sweet, three-week-old. Beth lives in Wichita, and I've only gotten to see her three times in the last 2.5 years. We go back to the Alco days. And now she's getting married. :)

Christmas was pretty good. We spent Christmas Eve at my grandparents' house in South Hutch, which was nice because I hardly get to see them and my 103 yr old great grandma. I spent Christmas day afternoon with Jedsen at his parent's house in Galva. That was the first time we've ever seen each other on the actual day of Christmas. It was lovely.

The next morning, I headed back to Lawrence Snicker-less for a day and a half before it came time for my housesitting job in Manhattan. Another snowy morning that Friday when I left for my old city, but I didn't have the problems I had the last time. The week went very fast there. It was nice to spend time in Manhattan again and at the bookstore, but I've made my home in Lawrence now, so it just wasn't the same. That's the thing with me--I can never go back after I've moved on. I could never live in Manhattan again. That was such a transitional period for me. It was good, and I met some really great people (that I got to catch up with, too), but I had to move on in order to continue to grow as a person. But, yes, the real blessing for the week there was getting to spend time with my aunt, uncle, and grandma Lentz. They're such good people, and I'm glad I've gotten to know my aunt and uncle more over the last year. And then there's my dear grandma. I love my grandma so much! We share the same birthday, and we've always just had a special bond. Yes, and then there was Laura Beth and Miranda who made my Saturday terrific. LB took me to my first Manhattan thrift stores with her family, which was quite fun, and then Miranda had me over for Scrabble night and chatting. I miss those girls...

After leaving Manhattan last Sunday, I had to go down to Hutch to pick up Snickers and catch my brother in a basketball game with some friends. This is the first time he's ever played basketball in front of people on an actual team. We've always played basketball together, and he's been playing on the school courts with his friends for years, but he never joined a team until he and his friends decided to form a team through the rec. I talked to him beforehand and asked him how it was going. He said he was so nervous that whatever shot he threw up wouldn't end up anywhere near the hoop. I understand, I said. Remember when I was in 4th grade on the basketball team and was so nervous the one time I got the ball in my hands that I made a basket for the other team? Yes, I understand how you feel, little brother. Well, guess what. After not having made a single point in the first two games, he made four three-pointers! He was amazing, and I was so proud of him! I'm disappointed I won't get to see any more games, but I'm so glad I got to see this one. Yep, that's my brother.

Finally got back to Lawrence on Monday. And I've been working all week. It's good to have this weekend off and just chill because classes start again on Thursday. Thursday, Thursday, Thursday.