Perhaps it's time to write about my life again. Perhaps it's time for a word or two. A word, like good bye.
You are not a tragedy, you are a personal essay. You must rise above and you must do it in the last paragraph with basic grammar and easily recognized words. --Christy Vannoy, "A Personal Essay by a Personal Essay"
Good bye black boots that I had really just fell in love with, accepted as an aspect of my style, and realized how warm and comfortable they were. Good bye at the force of Scooter's teeth.
Good bye City View apartment next week. Good bye to the lights, the sirens, the length. Good bye to the 32 stairs, the 3 flights, the double-beep of the door. Good bye to the bay window, its starring role in this apartment, and good bye to the broken blinds on the north. Good bye to short showers when it's cold, to the arches, to the green and beige, to the first wood floors that have ever been mine. Good bye walking to work. Good bye height.
Good bye silent ground. Good bye earthquake virginity; I have known two in two months.
Good bye thighs. Good bye mind. Good bye vegetables, protein, vitamins; sugar is in my veins.
Good bye sleep, and rest, and time.
Good bye Kansas, again, its straight lines and silhouettes of silos against an open sunset. Good bye friends in Kansas, some I saw and some I missed. All I miss. Good bye Lawrence, again. Good bye Hutchinson, cats, brother, shag. Good bye 1-70 and wind.
Good bye single friends; you're all getting married, you're all going forward in love, you're all doing it, seemingly, at once.
Good bye dark brown hair; you just can't stick around, can you?
Good bye chain stores and restaurants; I'm quitting you soon. Good bye debt; I don't need you around. Good bye empty refrigerator; you're going to feed me from now on.
Good bye Jedsen. Good bye love. Good bye Chicago. Good bye phone calls. Good bye best friend. Good bye places we loved. Good bye everything we loved. Good bye language. Good bye nicknames. Good bye second family. Good bye self as I know me. Good bye dreams. Good bye hands. Good bye brown eyes. Good bye curls. Good bye life as I knew it. Good bye songs we loved. Good bye Jim Croce. Good bye understanding. Good bye communication. Good bye brown chair. Good bye Anita. Good bye Chip. Good bye map. Good bye boots. Good bye "I love you." Good bye "I miss you." Everything remains but disappears. Everything hurts. Good bye Jedsen. Good bye love. Good bye.
That's the thing about life; everything feels so permanent, but you can disappear in an instant. --Jonathan Tropper, This is Where I Leave You
