oh what a thing to've done

I'm just going to say it. This has been one of my favorite years of life so far. Teaching has changed my life. Yes, there is the insane amount of stress and the constant horridness of grading and the classroom failures. But then there are those students that I'll never forget. There are those students who I'm just so pleased to have known. Those students who have so much potential that I hope I have helped them to see. There are those moments in front of the classroom when everything clicks. For me and for the students. It's the confidence. It's the way it has changed my outlook on my future. Yeah, it's just changed things. And then there's the camaraderie among the teachers (GTAs) that is just so good. Thanks to everyone who has made this year special.

Now, I'm looking at the summer and next year. Well, I still have to grade all of my students' revision projects over the next week, so it's not quite summer yet. I haven't had a good summer in a long time. I'm determined for this one to be different. I'm determined not to go crazy working in the "office" at the bookstore. I'm determined (and have to) write and read every day. I'm determined to get into shape (for real this time)--and I'm taking a Zumba class! I'm determined not to let the tv consume my short evenings (digital box is broken right now anyway, which means no tv). I'm determined to listen to more music this summer, get back into the discovery mode. I'm determined to stay in touch with all of the cool people in Lawrence and not live like a hermit. I know I'm going to love my new apartment. Well, I have to because I've built it up so much. I get my new furniture tomorrow, and it already feels like a new start.

So right now the living room is empty in the center. Friends took away my loveseat, chair, desk, and coffee table that were consuming the room, and so for most of the day I have had an open area in my apartment. It feels different, better, without the furniture. The open space affects me (and Snickers), and part of me wants to just sit on the floor for a few weeks before more furniture comes in. But I already don't have a bed to sleep on right now because Snickers decided (due to an infection, hopefully) to pee on my bed three times. It's right now soaking in Nature's Miracle, and the bedroom is off limits to this little kitty.

It feels so good to go through my possessions. Purging. I'm going through a "I don't want to spend any money" phase. (well, on anything but furniture, but I'm pretty much done with that) I want to save. I want to not bring in more things. I want to be surrounded by what makes me happy but not mere things.

And with that, I'm off to make a bed on the floor and receive a furniture delivery in the morning. Have a lovely May.

gracious

Last Saturday morning Jedsen and I were cozied up on his loveseat eating Cheerios and watching "Man vs. Food." He actually got up early with me, and we had one of the best collections of moments together in a while. We sat, snuggled, and watched. We laughed, gagged, and loved.

This morning I'm facing 22 papers. 22 papers to finish grading by Monday, only to get 35 more in the middle of the week. But after that point, it will be fine. I'll have a deadline but won't have to write comments on every one of them. So, as you can imagine, my anxiety's freaking out about it. I need to go for a walk. Walk somewhere in Lawrence. I want to walk to the river. The Kaw River. But I fear for those who sleep under the bridge. I fear the mosquitoes that ate me last time. I fear spending an hour walking when I could be grading or working on the two essay revisions that are also due Monday. But then I think about the benefits of exercise on the body and the mind. I should go walk. I should put on those new shoes and walk. I need to lose this fat and reclaim my mind.

in my arms

This is strangely fitting for me and Jedsen. No, I didn't make this video. Just love the song. It's Snow Patrol day. (And fajita day.)

warmer climate

It's starting to heat up. Snow Patrol sure doesn't hurt.

tuesday

It's Tuesday. It's a fajita day. Not that every Tuesday is a fajita day. Ideally, every day is a fajita day. Go make fajitas.